Hip Hop Off the Anger Wagon

I grew up watching the Brady Bunch, but looking back that was even dated for my time. My household and family dynamic was similar. My mom was a stay at home housewife with a ton of kids, and had that extra hand, while my dad earned good money to support a beautiful house. The difference was, my dad worked not one, but two, very blue collar jobs, and my mom’s help was her mom, my nana.

My dad was diagnosed with Lung Cancer when I was 15. He just retired, and was supposed to start his relaxed life after working himself to death. At first, he would just sit around and not know what to do, and it didn’t take long before he started to get frustrated, bored, and eventually sad. I never saw my dad sad up to this point. I asked my dad the question that sometimes, I still regret, “Dad, are you scared of dying?”, and for the first time, I saw my dad cry. His answer was honest, I wasn’t prepared to hear it, but from that moment on, I knew I was capable to ask hard questions. I was also capable to absorb the answers. My dad died two years later when I was 17. I knew I had to help my mom.

Moving forward 3 years later. My mom was adjusting to her life without my dad. It wasn’t an easy task, because he took care of her, and she wasn’t equipped with the life skills to support herself. I thought those three years were the worst, but it wasn’t until my mom got sick that I was about to repeat history. A cold, we thought; after all, we just lost our dad! Within 24 hours, my mom passed from a stroke due to complications of pneumonia. I knew I had to help my nana.

And that’s what I did. My most important job was taking care of family that was left behind by someone else. In the process, I became a mother at 21 years old, and had a great career, but my job was always back at home. I’m a caretaker-

I used to be bitter and angry about it, always thinking that life wasn't fair, but I realized that it was those tough moments that prepared me to be the mom "the ultimate caretaker" that I am today. And a very strong woman you always rises to the top. Most importantly, sometimes you have to put up and shut up.

I'm not a lyrical gangsta, I'm just a genius with the words, let me make this clear just in case you have not heard; I know which words to choose, and I know which words to lose, more importantly, I know the battles, I will lose!

We all have a story that unfortunately we will tell, mine just so happens are about the times I just fell, but my story is the truth and not a bunch of lies, those who fall the hardest have no choice but to just rise.

But I will rise the highest, way beyond what you can see; you are so low, I only hear your desperate plea. If you don't have my back, get off it fast; after all, I have the means to reach deep into your past.

You can really only use so many fucking tissues, so please get over the mommy and daddy issues, cause as I head up North, and you head down South; Keep my fucking name out of your mouth.

This is the end of your plotted head game; you didn't know me from jump, and I'll put you to shame! I thank GOD that I was treated so bad, otherwise I could have settled for what I just had.

I am thrilled that your hurt and rightfully so, cause you finally realized what the hell you let -You crossed the line, not one but two- you crossed the line between me and you.

So from this point on, I bid you goodbye- It's way over-due to find the right guy.